Why should I have a Life Coaching Consultation? I have friends!

I came across a post the other day where the questioner wanted to know if he could cure his "depression" and depression alone?

I would have liked to say that yes, you believe in your body and soul, but that we should find solutions in a web of myriad connections by looking at the roots of our difficulties that we have not yet seen.

What solutions do we have?

1. On the one hand, we keep our problems inside ourselves, we keep them to ourselves.

2. We turn to friends, hairdressers, colleagues... Anyone can have an opinion on anything, but they are subjective. For example: 'You should spend more time with him! You neglect him, of course he spends time with someone else." Or "Why don't you get a divorce already? He's probably cheating on you! "

It's not your friends' job to analyse you as a therapist, to listen to your torrents of complaints.  Every professional has their own job to do. If your gas boiler's broken, you don't talk to your boyfriend. That won't solve the problem.

3. Find a solution on your own. We listen to lectures, we read. In the meantime, much time passes, the goal remains far away.

How can you see what you haven't perceived yet? What about your "blind spots"?

In self-learning we can learn information. However, it is difficult to clearly understand the causes of your problem. After all, you have learned to live with them, so the problem will not be what is otherwise the cause of your problems. Therefore you will not see them in yourself alone.

Knowing the past is not enough to make a difference. You have to cross your own boundaries to say what you have locked away because it hurts. This is not easy. Many people don't get that far, they think they are open and willing to change. So similar root problems come back again.

How does a therapist or helper work?

A therapist asks questions, not gives advice.To make changes in your thoughts and actions, you need to understand how you got there.What caused it?You need to recognize when old memories are triggered again and strongly influence your feelings in the present.What you need is to flip the switches and act differently.

A good therapist is not a waste of time. It's a valuable relationship in which she is at once a supporter, a teacher, a motivator, a practice partner.

• She supports you with her presence, like a parent. Her warm, trusting presence helps you feel a bond that should have been part of your life.

• She raises your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you will be able to maintain them later on your own.

• She asks you questions you would never ask yourself. Or you'd never dare to answer.

• Step by step, she will "confront" your repressions, your lies, your denial of reality.

• She asks you questions that reveal the past and present connections in your life,

• She teaches you the signs that can tell you that your ingrained, "bad" patterns have emerged.

• She helps you to see new ideas.

• She helps to develop your problem solving skills.

• Show you what possibilities you have to solve a situation differently from the usual. It helps you learn to see yourself from the outside. Understand why things are happening to you. So you can practice making changes on your own.

Are you satisfied in your relationships?

Are you happy to get up from your workday? Are you happy with your partner? Do you handle conflict easily? If not, you have work to do.

Get help! It's not embarrassing to live a better life! It's embarrassing if there's a solution, but you'd rather take the easier, lonelier route.

Life is too short to wait for a miracle.